peace my prince
by Petal-Tail
Summary: AU. Kili is given a second chance to go back to his uncle and brother, but will they recognize him?
1. Chapter 1

_**If Igive you your peace, can you give me mine**_

Kili felt strangly at peace.

He had died, he knew that. He had know for some time, but not for how long.

He died in battle, protecting his brother and uncle, making sure that they would leave those fields of blood shed and misery safe.

Well, almost safe. He knew they were wounded, but they would survive.

He wouldn't, he knew that as soon as he set foot on those fields.

These, these fields he though to himself. Because he was still there. He wasn't able to leave. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't.

Each time he reached the border of the fields, there where the bloodstains stopped, he couldn't move away.

He was chained to these miserable fields.

"_**KILI!"**_

Kili winced. The sound of his brother screaming his name still fresh on his mind. He had woken up to those screams.

"_**KILI!"**_

_E_xcept he hadn't.

"_**YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! KILI! YOU CAN'T! WHAT ABOUT MOTHER?!" **_

"Mother?" Kili wispered. Clinging to the front of his tunic. He didn't want to see this again, it hurts him to much.

"_Fili, why are you crying? Why are you screaming like that?"_

"No," the words escaped him as a breath. "I don't want to."

"_Fili?" Wait is that . Me?_

Kili fell to his knees. He was shivering violently.

_**KILI!**_

His scream ecoed through the silence. It was the only thing he could do. Scream. Hoping that one god or another would hear him and grand him his passage to the after life.

As much as he was fine with being dead, he wanted these visions to stop.

A low chuckle took Kili by surprise. No one had been on the fields since the dwarves and elfs had come back to collect to bodies.

The sound wasn't unpleasant. I was a friendly chuckle, and it made him think of uncle Thorin.

He thought it would be another trick of his mind, and expected to see thorin, smiling down on him.

But instead his eyes locked with those of a big wolf.

Their eyes held a twinkle, as if they were smiling.

"What seems to be the problem, my prince?" A low voice ecoed through Kili mind.

"I died master Wolf, that is the problem."

They chuckled again. "Ah, but my prince, death is only a problem when you make it into one."

Kili frowned at their words. "You don't seem so troubled by death, master Wolf. How come?"

The wolf's eyes grew, the twinkle brightening, as if Kili's question amused them. "I was the very first to experience death, young prince. You know little of this world and even less about death and life."

The wolf waited after those words, letting them sink into Kili's mind. Yes, Kili thought, next to this spirit I am only a child.

"My prince, it seems that you can not find your peace."

Kili sighed. "Yes master Wolf. I am being haunted. Not by my past or my future,which I don't even have anymore, but by the present that could have been." Kili shifted from his knees to sit on his bottom, which was more comfortable. "You see, I should be celebrating the homecoming to de mountain Erebor with my brother now. But instead they are mourning my death and I am talking to a gigantic wolf."

The wolf chuckle again, they seemed to be enjoying themselfs. "Well my prince, I can't find my peace, much like you. And my soul is old and restless, but i can not pass on. Sometimes I make myself a body, to roam the land of the living. Now I think, I have seen enough from it again. I want you to have it. "

Kili's eyes widened in surprise. "But master Wolf, you can not do that. What would happen to your soul."

"HA!" The wolf threw back his head, a thundering laugh ripping through the silence. "I am an ancient spirit young prince, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want."

Kili smiled, still unsure if this mad plan would work.

"Now my prince, I am going to leave this body and when I do I will leave a void. Whatever you, and how much it might hurt, do not struggle agains it. The pain will not last and you will be alive." The wolf paused. "Do you understand?"

"Yes master Wolf, I won't struggle."

"Good." The wolf smiled at him, one last time.

Then something ripped through Kili, like a hook. Stabbing his back and jerking him forward. Into the body. Oh, how it burned. Kili screamed, pian and agony flow inside him. But he didn't want to struggle agains it.

And then, it was gone. He felt a breeze running through his thick fur. He felt it.

He felt, alive.

**A/N: **

**Please note, I'm not English, so I'm not really familiar with writing old English. Please tell me if there are things that aren't quite right, also I'll be happy to hear what you think of it.**

**The wolf in this story is a dire wolf, an extinct animal. This animal could grow to a height of ****1.5 m (4.9 ft), which is the height of a pony(note: horses and pony are****measured**** from the withers, with is located somewhere near the shoulders)**

**Please correct me if I wrong or if you feel I left something out.**

**Thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**You are still you, even if you take me away**_

Fili felt numb. His bed was supposed to be soft, but he didn't feel if. He felt nothing.

No, wait, he did feel something. He felt empty.

It has been two weeks and his life felt shallow without his brother.

When Kili was alive, when they got seperated, he could still feel his brother. They were connected.

Now there was an empty spot deep inside him, telling him that something was missing.

It has been two weeks since they had found Kili's body.

Fili clung to his brother, screamed, begged him to stay with him.

He noticed that over the past days he had gotten a bad temper. He snapped at his friends, blaming them, realising afterwarts that they could have done little about what had happened.

He had even blamed Bilbo. He had yelled at the hobbit, how was already feeling bad, blaming himself for the war and for all the people that had died.

That halfling had sputtered an apology, looking away.

Fili snapped, screamed and yelled.

And at last Bilbo had burst into trears, falling to his knees, crying. He would do anything to give Kili back to Fili, but he was no god, he was a simple hobbit.

Fili left the room, stomping his feet like a child on a tantrum, followed by the thundering voice of his uncle telling him that that was no way to behave.

At that moment he didn't really care, but now, sitting in his dark room, guild came to him.

And so , he found himself creaping through the hall to Bilbo's room.

Fili knocked soft on the door. "Bilbo?" He wispered, afraid that, if the hobbit was already asleep he might wake him.

He pushed the door open a little and saw that Bilbo was still awake, seated behind his little desk.

"Bilbo, I am so sorry." Fili quickly crossed the room to stand next to his friend.

Bilbo smile. "Fili, it is alright. I miss Kili too, and you were his brother. It is only natural that your looking for someone to blame. But Fili, you are smart and you know that none of us could have done anything for him. He made up his mind when he decided to take on two orcs without warning anyone, asking for help."

Bilbo stood from his chair and grabbed Fili's shoulders. "Whether you like it or not, he sacrificed himself so you could live."

Fili bowed his head.

Bilbo was right ofcoure, if his brother wanted to survive the battle he would have warned someone that he was having a hard time.

That didn't mean that he liked the idea. The had promised mother that he would protect his little brother, now Kili was killed trying to save him.

Fili felt tears running across his face, but didn't reach to wipe them away. He let them go.

Bilbo let out a small gasp and pulled Fili in his arms, running his hands up and donw his back, rocking them both from left to right.

"Oh Fili," He wispered. "I am so, so sorry."

Fili just hiccuped. Bilbo wasn't to blame anymore, he didn't have to apologize.

**A/N:**

**Fili's side of the story. Angsty...**

**It's short, I know, I will try to make the next one longer.**

**Please leave a review, tell me what you thing.**

**Also, I want to introduce an OC in the next chapter. She isn't a love interest or anything, just a guide. I can't write about a gigant wolf making for Erebor, without having to write about Bard going hunting. Nienna is just going to be the girl telling everyone that Kili is a big teddy bear. **

**Until next time**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Dying is all about living first**_

Kili pawed the ground and lifted his muzzle to taste the air.

He was getting used to all the sences he could smell now. All the small noices he heared, the birds flying over or a mouse scurrying by.

This morning he caught a new smell. It was sweet, but he also smelled smoked meat.

The sence was still strong, wich meaned that what or whoever caried it was still close by.

He found the source of the sence not long after.

He stopped next to some dried bushes and saw that there was a little girl sleeping under them.

She was petit and looked fragile.

He bowed his head and nugged her stomage with his muzzle. She couldn't sleep here, orcs were still roaming the fields.

She waved her small hand at him, willing him away.

Kili huffed, he was a prince and he wouldn't be waved away like that.

He nugged her again.

This time she curled up on her side, trowing her tiny arms around his neck cuddeling against him. Kili sighed, this was no use. It was getting later and darker and the girl wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.

So he lay himself down, carefull, not to move her to much and wake her by accident.

Kili woke to a loud clang. He opened his eyes and saw that a big orc was picking through a heap of things left behind on the fields.

He looked down at the girl and saw that she aswell had woken up.

She desperaty clung to his fur, shaking slightly, her eyes open wide.

A low growl escaped him and he rose slowly, stepping over her, positioning himself between her and the orc.

The orc turned to him and a wicked grin grew over his face. He was tired of the day traveling and had gotten sick of eating whatever he could find. This big wolf would give him lots of meat and a nice warm blanket.

The orc lifted his sword, as if saying he had already won.

Kili bared his teeth, his hair bristled. He saw the orcs sword dip down a little, he could smell his confusion.

Kili growled, opening his mouth to show his canines.

He leaped, closing his jaws around the orcs head. He can hear their tiny neck snap under his teeth.

He bit through, feeling his teeth connect and lets go, letting the lifeless body fall to the ground.

He steps back, but didn't turn around. He didn't want to show the little girl what he did, how he let the animal inside him take over.

He tugs his ears agianst his neck and crouches low to the ground.

"_How did I become this?"_ Even his voice feels unfamiliar to his mind.

"It is alright, my prince."

Kili's ears flick up, that soft voice, could it be.

"_You-, you hear me?"_

"I do, my prince, and I am not afraid of you."

Kili frowns. _"How do you know what to call me."_

The girl giggled. "We have already met my prince, and though I recognize you in your new form, you do not recognize me in my old one. But that is alright, it will come back to you, I'm sure. Now, I will introduce myself once more. My name is Nienna."

She skipped over to where he stood and flung herself around his neck, buring her face in his fur. "And we're going to go to Erebor together."

Nienna quickly gathered her cloak. "Come," she smiled. "the sun is rising, we can just start walking now. It is still a long way to the mountain."

Kili turned to her and the mountain. He let a sigh escape him as the familiar silhouette of the mountair called him. He could almost feel all that he longed for. The loud clangs from the mines. The heat of the fires in the forges. The glittering and sparkling of all the riches, the ugly stone on the outside hide from the world around it.

The mountain tugged and pulled at him, calling him home, telling him to hurry and come back to his people.

Kili skipped on his feet, excited. He threw back his head and howled. He didn't know why but he did. Long and low.

Fili shifted in his seat. On the other side of the desk Bilbo lowerd his quill and looked out the window. He smiled sadly at the ghostly sound.

"Did you know," he looked back at his paper. "that wolfs howl to locate each other when they are lost. "

**A/N**

**Say hi to Nienna... Please leave a review**


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